Monday, January 20, 2014

Close eyes. Deep breath. Jump in.

You know when you were a kid and it was too early in the spring to get in the swimming pool, but you were so excited that it was decently warm outside that you just couldn't help yourself? I would always get so nervous thinking about how cold the water would be once I jumped in. But I always knew I'd acclimate to the cold temperature & then be glad I jumped in. Sometimes that's hard for me to remember as an adult: the nervousness and trepidation surrounding doing something is oftentimes worth it in the end.

There are some really big things going on in my life. And I need to write about it, so I can sort my thoughts and document what is surely life-changing stuff. This is for me and no one else. Sorry, but you're just going to have to put on your big girl panties and deal.
So much has happened since I was last here. The thing I'm most glad to report is that the ferret is still in my life and things with him are going swimmingly. In fact, we've even turned things up a notch and last October, he decided to make things legit. Yeah, that's right... The ferret and I are getting hitched and I've been sporting some bling on my left hand. Very pretty bling, if I do say so myself. But that's another story for another time.
Equally notable (and a big reason for why I'm taking up the blogging gig again), he is looking for a job in another state. Several other states. That's right, I'm finally getting the heck out of Texas. Which is super exciting and awesome. But also makes me want to shit my pants.

Originally it started with a plan to move to Portland to be closer to my parents and my brother (who just moved there a week ago), but then it morphed into "well, what would you say about moving to California?" umm, heck yes?! And then, it morphed into "well, I also have offers in Hawaii... ooh and if we go to the East Coast, I'll make even more money." Ummm WHAT? East Coast? Come again?

But then it started to be a very real option. Massachusetts or  New Jersey. I can't handle cold weather, but they do both have good sea food, and it would be easy to travel around and see that part of the US since everything is close together. And we're closer to Europe?? (so maybe I'm stretching a little... haha) I mean we're talking about places I've never even set foot in... not even in the airport.

A big part of me knows that I can be happy anywhere... especially if I'm with my ferret. But this is some crazy shit, y'all. Who knows what this might lead us to? It could be the best decision we've ever made. It could be the worst. But I've spent way to much time in my life being hesitant about things and playing it safe. I didn't do that with ferret and that's one of the reasons why we've had the best relationship. We take chances. We go on adventures. We have fun.

So I just need to look at it as that... another adventure. The good thing about it, is my job said I can work from home. That I won't have to quit my job, so there is that. Which helps. A LOT. But dealing with all this and wedding planning... especially when we are getting married in Oregon so I'm planning it long distance, which adds a little extra stress. We are only having our parents and siblings and my bestie come, so it shouldn't be that difficult/stressful to plan and it hasn't been so far, so that's good. But it still adds an extra element.

This is where I need to rely on my faith. And quit worrying. Worrying is definitely my least favorite characteristic I inherited from my mom, but I'm working on that.

Like I said before, this could be the greatest adventure and the best decision we ever made.

Close eyes. Deep breath. Jump in.

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