D-DAY otherwise known as the great momster visit of 2012

i hope that despite everyone's feelings about valentine's day that you all had a fabulous day.

my ferret surprised me with tickets to tosh's stand-up tour, custom shoe shelves for my closet, two dozen gorgeous (but not red thank god... i hate RED) roses and he picked up dinner for us from one of my favorite places... fireside pies. so we lounged around on the couch and watch a marathon of mad men episodes (what's more romantic than watching a tv show with lots of smoking, sex, alcohol and cheating men?). plus he helped me clean (woot!) because the momster is coming to visit. holy hell, y'all. i'm so in love with this boy, it's ridiculous. and i'm not one to discuss such things.

what was i talking about? oh yeah, the momster visit. mom is coming to texas! and bringing her mini-dacshund who we shall all hereinafter refer to as "satan incarnate" or just "satan" for short. this is the dog that was disguised as a christmas present for me my senior year of high school but was really my replacement for when i went off to college in austin. i mean, she sits in my mom's lap while she eats dinner. it's disgusting. i'm not even kidding you.

wow. the focus today is impeccable... how many times can i go off topic?

ok. so. mom is coming to texas. so that little secret about ferret and i living together? it's out. plus, she's staying with us. in our super awesome 1,100 sq. foot one bedroom duplex. that's right. ONE BEDROOM. so she gets to sleep on a mattress in the living room. i am nothing if not classy, am i right?

did i mention that last time she was here she did not act like herself and was a complete wench to said ferret?

(i'm not nervous)

hopefully she's over her craziness... hopefully they will bond and be merry and she'll fall in love against her will just like i did (just kidding, ferret... i totally wanted to)... hopefully it will at least provide for some good blog fodder.

who knows.

wish me luck.

i'm totally going to need it.

happy, happy v-day...

for the millions of you that have posted on facebook, twitter and all other social media outlets (are there others? haha) how much hate you have in your heart for valentine's day... SHAME ON YOU!

methinks thou doth protest too much. translated to regular english: it seems to me like you are a bitter, scorned, angry person whose sole purpose this day is to ruin a day that is supposed to be about love and candy hearts and chocolate and ferret-worshipping (for me, anyway). what is wrong with you people?!

who cares if it's a hallmark holiday? if it's "fake?"

people are ritualized beings. they need holidays and celebrations to grow closer together. so, get off your BAHHUMBAG soap box, sit your ass down and come eat some chocolate. all the celebrities are doing it...

i was browsing my usual blogs that i stalk... i mean, follow... when i came across this post from eggton http://eggton.com/2012/02/13/3-love-themed-gifts-that-make-me-want-to-drink-a-bottle-of-nail-polish-remover/. she discusses the 3 craziest valentine's day presents... one of which is that for $10, you can name your own madagascar hissing cockroach at the bronx zoo.

as you all know, i recently moved to a super awesome duplex in the m streets. and with this super awesome duplex came free cockroaches (!!!). i know, i'm a lucky, lucky girl. so, being the marketing maven i am, i clearly saw the moneymaking opportuntity... $85 will get you your very own dallas cockroach (complete with a miniature louis vuitton clutch which may or may not be fake and a bleach blonde giant mess of hair sized perfectly for your roach's head). for an additional $50, i'll even catch the little sucker and write a message of up to ten words in glittery nail polish on his back. oh, happy valentine's day, eh?

move quickly and purchase your roach now as i have a limited supply.

unless those little buggars get in the v-day spirit and start procreating!

so, happy valentine's day... try to enjoy it and quit being so dang negative all the time, people!