Wednesday, January 18, 2012

so i was thinking...

duct tape fixes everything including, but not limited to: broken furniture, torn books, dumb ideas and opossum hair...

Friday, January 13, 2012

i WOULD pick friday the 13th...

to do my first post of the new year... but alas, this friday the 13th has been no more horrific than any other day. for me, at least... my friend from high school was in labor for 15 hours starting yesterday afternoon and finally gave birth to a precious baby girl early this morning... so i'm sure that was rather horrific, but at least she got the reward of her newborn bundle of joy...

who am i kidding? labor for 15 hours is probably cake compared to the months that follow filled with no sleep, poopy diapers, shittons of crying and did i mention NO SLEEP?! when i get no sleep (read: when i get less than 8 hours of sleep because after less than 8 hours of sleep i am just a shell of the person i used to be), the world ENDS. i am a zombie and i cannot function. pair that with a screaming, pooping mess & i'm pretty sure i'll start having visions of throwing my child out of the window... i don't care how cute it is when it's actually sleeping five minutes at a time. i'm probably unfit for child bearing/rearing. oh well, at least i have time to work through such issues.

enough about babies... (since i've been hearing a lot about them lately)...

i'm sure you've all been anxiously awaiting my new year's resolutions... actually i'm sure you haven't because honestly i haven't even thought about them and they're mine. so i'm sure you care even less than i do... but ALAS...

NY RESOLUTIONS 2012
1. become more independent... sad to say i am one of those people who constantly needs to be entertained... and not by myself, by other people. i am one of those people, when left to the choice to hang out with them self or some friends, will pick my friends over me every single time. for some reason, i have a sneaking suspicion that that's not cool.
2. eat more cheese fries... i consumed a lot this summer during what i would call "the dark time" (aka the divorce days) but have really slacked for the rest of the year. this year, i vow to consume cheese fries more consistently.
3. stand up for myself... i'm one of those people that's really nice (i'm sure, you're surprised... i understand, but this is the one place where i really speak my mind)... so nice that i let people walk all over me and don't ask them for what i need because i'm afraid to make them go out of their way. then when someone takes advantage of my niceness, i get hurt and act all surprised. hey, idiot, letting people walk all over you is just as bad as them walking all over you. 'nuff said.
4. see the ghost... sooo we all know that i had a ghost at the last place i lived at with my (now, ex-)roommate... well, it turns out that in the duplex i currently live at that the guy next door had passed away... i'm CONVINCED that his spirit is still wandering the property. so, here's to you, tex... hopefully we'll meet sometime in the near future.
5. have fun, make no apologies for having fun... self-explanatory. 2011 sucked, so now it's time to make up for it in 2012. i'm already making headway towards this goal as sara and i are shooting a wedding in england in october... happy birthday to ME! which is already shittons better than my asshat of a birthday month this year where i got divorced. see? resolutions CAN come true :)

also, i probably need to sleep more... but i'm not going to make an official resolution out of it because i'm absolutely positive that there's no way it will happen... we can sleep when we're dead, right?

in other news... miss moo has recently received three stuffed rats as presents... i bought her the first one from my brave venture to ikea by myself ON A SATURDAY (i know, i'm a masochist) and then ferret got her two more when he ventured to ikea by himself on a WEEKDAY during the day... yeah, i know... weaksauce. he should probably step it up... miss moo can't choose between the three and instead is spending countless hours trying to figure out how to juggle all three at one time... she's making great strides toward perfection but most of the time she likes to run around the house in circles on an invisible race track with one of them secured in the clutches of her jowls... it's cute. for. now.

hope everyone had a happy new year... happy MLK, Jr weekend... am i the only person that's angry i don't get monday off? i'm going to eat fried chicken in protest. way to stick it to the man, huh?